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An ilovejesus.com response
Dear godspark15:<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">ok two requests at once here. this coming tuesday i have to sing at the miss firecracker pageant and i still don't have my music together and i'm pretty nervous about it. please pray i calm down and get it together and do the best i can. also i'm tryin to lose weight, and have lost some, but i'm definitely stressin too much over it. please pray i get to a point where i'm ok with how i am. it's ok to want to be healthy. that's what i'm workin on. but i need to keep a healthy mindset and i need some help.
godspark15</font>
This one's a piece of cake. Explosives are always an excellent means of weight management. Place yourself in close proximity to the firecrackers, ie., sit on them, and cover your ears. You'll be losing pounds and pounds of unsightly flab in no time flat. And don't worry about the tunes. This type of quality entertainment requires no musical accompaniment.
your friends @ ilovejebus
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">True, so how about "typical fundies?" I'm curious too. Can anyone familiar with fundamentalists tell us if these people are average, crazier than average, etc.? </font>
My in-laws are what I'd call "typical fundies". The ones at ilovejesus, IMHO, are way over the edge.
The people at ilovejesus are not the craziest. The people at my mothers church (approx.10,000 members) make them look mild!<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">originally posted by Muad'dib:
True, so how about "typical fundies?" I'm curious too. Can anyone familiar with fundamentalists tell us if these people are average, crazier than average, etc.?</font>
My mother gives jebus credit when my chihuahua has a normal bowel movement, when the rain lets up long enough for her to go outside and water her flowers, Jebus parts the clouds just for her when she wants to see the full moon. They wave their arms around as though they are cleaning an invisible plate glass window and their eyes roll back in their heads while they do the mumbo jumbo speaking in tongues thing! They do something called intercessory prayer where they lie prostrate on the floor and pray loudly and flail around on the floor. My mother used to sneak up on me and put annointing oil on my head and rubuke the devil out of me. If I'd misplace my car keys and them find them in a couple minutes, she would say she prayed to jebus for me to find them. She says doctors and nurses, etc. don't do anything at all to help people. We are only being used as instruments by jebus, HE is the one doing the healing. Using logic is a total waste of time. If I ever asked questions they would get a psychotic look in their eyes and start spouting bible verses. There is NO such thing as trying to carry on a reasonable conversations with these people. Even the internet is the work of the devil. (except when the televangelists collect money through their websites.)
She still insists that I was brought up right and that I will fall on my knees, receive the lord and be "born again"
someday. Now she has extended my 2nd birth to the day of her funeral. If there were enough rattle snakes around I'm sure they would play with them during church services too. After all, it's in one of the same bible verses that she quoted me in regards to why she speaks in tongues. She started praying real loud when I asked her why they didn't have any snakes to go along with the mumbo jumbo. They love to pick and choose verses to justify their insanity. So did the KKK.
It is a mental illness! When I worked as a psych. nurse I learned that it's a waste of time to try to reason with a delusional schizophrenic. I will never attempt it again!
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Mad Kally:
My mother gives jebus credit when my chihuahua has a normal bowel movement.</font>
rofl
Good grief. What demon-ination is this one? I hope there's one in my neighborhood ...<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">They wave their arms around as though they are cleaning an invisible plate glass window and their eyes roll back in their heads while they do the mumbo jumbo speaking in tongues thing! They do something called intercessory prayer where they lie prostrate on the floor and pray loudly and flail around on the floor.</font>